Movie Micro Blog
With the ever expanding options to watch movies, both online and offline, I lost sight of what I watched and what my impressions were. So here I try to keep track of them.
My personal rating system:
★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ - So bad I couldn't finish it.
★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ - Somewhat interesting, but there were parts where I got bored.
★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ - Kept me entertained from beginning to end.
★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ - Immersed me completely.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★ - Changed my perspective on life.
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Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
More parts with orchestral background music does not make things better.
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La paranza dei bambini (Piranhas)
"See Napels and die" can be rough if you're born there.
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The Neon Demon
Cinéma du look has its place. For instance amidst the fashion industry.
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El espejo de la bruja (The Witch's Mirror)
When he says he is a man of science, he actually means he is kind of an amateur Frankenstein.
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Guardians of the Galaxy
I am okay with using computers to make it look and sound better, but the lack of tape hiss was just plain unrealistic.
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Revanche
Chopping wood can be excellent therapy.
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Trotacalles (Streetwalker)
That is a very complicated way to get a divorce.
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Aanmodderfakker
She likes turtles. And turtles are slow.
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Chevalier
I'd give most points to the ship's announcer.
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View from the Top
Gwyneth Paltrow is a real Barbie, if you look cross-eyed enough.
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Lies we tell
The law giveth and the law taketh.
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You Hurt My Feelings
I could name a few other writers and actors that need some honest criticism.
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Jam (Sleep)
Home improvement for the superstitious and the non-superstitious.
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Indecent Desires
I'm from Europe, so I am continental too, you know.
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Lions Love (... and Lies)
Hippie version of #iamfourteenandthisisdeep.
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La mujer murcielago (The Batwoman)
The suspension is as bad as on the 60's cars featured and the strategy to capture the viewers attention is a clear as the underwater scenes.
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Rocco e i suoi fratelli (Rocco and his brothers)
Enough melodrama for an opera, but fortunately there was no singing.
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Kaboom
The Fight Club ending was a bit too much.
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Shanty Tramp
Read in a review somewhere: the lead actress stumbles around like an alien that is still getting used to its new human body.
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Fleuve noir (Black Tide)
Show up unannounced, ask for a drink and get some whisky. Apparently that even works with people you barely know. How come I never thought of that?
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Gosford Park
Country life can be so busy, with so many people.
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The Maidens of Fetish Street
"I am a soul watcher, dreamer of faces."
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Les diaboliques (Diabolique)
Honestly, I would be more scared by that retired detective that keeps popping up unannounced and suddenly appears sitting at your bed in the middle of the night.
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Holy Spider
With a god like that, you don't need enemies.
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Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me
Explains the series nicely. In the David Lynch way, so it will leave you properly confused.
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Demonlover
A dazzling cyber rollercoaster run by greedy people.
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Ai no korîda (In the Realm of the Senses)
Now I want to learn how to play the shamisen.
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Attenberg
With a cameo from The Ministry of Silly Walks.
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Immoral Tales
If history teaches us anything, it is that each century has had its fair share of naked women.
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Night on Earth
Over the top acting and boring superficial stories. Did not finish.
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Constans (The Constant Factor)
Corruption and the rate at which stuff falls of trucks are both pretty constant too.
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Holy Motors
A cinematic Rorschach test. I failed.
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Kynodontas (Dogtooth)
We're gonna be like three little zombies. What's zombie like?
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The Nile Hilton Incident
The State Security Service always takes a cut.
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Asteroid City
The road runner is a puppet.
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Tsubaki Sanjûrô (Sanjuro)
I would like to rescue you from captivity, if that is not too impolite.
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Yôjinbô (Yojimbo)
I had heard about double agents before, but a double samurai was new.
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Favolacce (Bad Tales)
Bright summer with a lot of darkness.
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La belle captive (The Beautiful Prisoner)
Last night I slept at a crazy man's house, but nothing happened.
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Kong bu fen zi (The Terrorizers)
Dripping, splashing and pouring water with eighties hair and sunglasses.
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Bai ri yan huo (Black Coal, Thin Ice)
She said not to follow her.
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Night Tide
Siren mermaid has an excellent taste in jazz.
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Todo sobre mi madre (All About My Mother)
A streetcar named Esteban.
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Relatos salvajes (Wild Tales)
Those Argentines are a revengeful bunch.
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Werckmeister harmóniák (Werkmeister Harmonies)
The old, naked dude standing in the bathtub says it's better to put the piano back to how it was.
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Hrútar (Rams)
Beards, sweaters and sheep.
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La gomera (The Whistlers)
Whistling at a woman that is an equal amongst wolfs.
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Vanskabte land (Godland)
A country so empty, they never even bothered to invent the umbrella.
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Masculin féminin (Masculine Feminine)
The high school scrapbook I wanted to be part of when I was young.
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Trois couleurs: Rouge (Three Colors: Red)
Six stones and seven puppies. That also probably means something.
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Sweat
Fitgirl with a family.
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À nos amours
You will always have your family.
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Oldeuboi (Oldboy)
Revenge is a dish best served... alive?
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Trois couleurs: Blanc (Three Colors: White)
Broken porcelain can be glued, but you will still see the cracks.
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Až přijde kocour (When the Cat Comes)
Red is for lovers, yellow for the unfaithful, purple for the hypocrites... What was gray for again?
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L'innocent (The Innocent)
Acting lessons from ex-convicts are the best.
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Only Angels have Wings
Tough guys that fly planes. Like Top Gun, but here the hero wears a sombrero.
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The Banshees of Inisherin
Never lay a finger on another mans donkey.
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La double vie de Véronique (The Double Life of Véronique)
A nice thing about dreams: your muse can have a spare.
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Gilda
With that woman on your mind, you just can't think straight. The writers apparently had the same problem, the plot goes to nowhere.
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Presque (Beautiful Minds)
Feelgood with dead, disabled and philosophy.
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Blinkende lygter (Flickering Lights)
Trigger. Happy. Family.
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Everything Everywhere All at Once
The Matrix as a Chinese comedy, never thought that would be that boring.
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Sevmek Zamani (Time to Love)
When it comes to this film, pretty pictures alone are not enough.
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Átame! (Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!)
Little scuba diver goes brrrrzzt.
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Mulholland Drive
The 4K restoration did not change anything. Still the best movie ever.
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Les coquillettes
Like she said: the same noise as when my boyfriend brushes his teeth. But then on a festival. In France. In the nineties.
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Triangle of Sadness
Like the world it mocks, over the top and a bit boring at the same time.
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White Noise
Casually strolling down the supermarket aisles, enjoying life, ignoring sounds.
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Rien à foutre (Zero Fucks Given)
Like her mother, she should have stayed on the ground longer.
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Darling
When papering over emptyness, better bring a lot of magazines.
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Ye Che (Night Train)
Combining justice with love is a hard thing. Let alone in the middle of a rigid concrete desert.
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The Angels' Share
Starts off raw and confronting, with a lot of dirt in the nose, but it ends so fairytale sweet that it feels like sipping from an entirely different blend.
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Joaquim
The jungle, like foreign occupation, is a messy affair with lots of pests.
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Vortex
Yes, old age is miserable and boring. You made your point.
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Lo sono l'amore (I Am Love)
Cut your hair and dream of crayfish. Or become a lesbian. Whatever works.
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Fumer fait tousser (Smoking Causes Coughing)
No, no, the womanizing, green acid drooling rat is not part of the scary story. But I can tell you a scary story if you want. Do you?
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Begike (Runner)
Better put that dog on a leash. Otherwise you'll keep running all day.
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Emily the Criminal
A very smooth slide into crime.
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L'argent (L'Argent)
Beware of people who casually slip crumpled paper in the pockets of their jackets. Beware of everyone.
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La femme au couteau (The Woman With a Knife)
Psychology made of wood. Maybe the knife was meant for carving.
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Tenéis que venir a verla (You Have to Come and See it)
Philosophy is a wild garden, where you can sit and piss.
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R.M.N.
Analysing your town's internals with an annoying hum.
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El castillo de la pureza (Castle of Purity)
Rat poison makes you impotent.
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Competencia official (Official Competition)
A bit simple and a bit cliche. Like all good entertainment.
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An (Sweet Bean)
Standard recipe that is way too sweet. But It's from Japan, so it tastes slightly less bad than it sounds.
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Honja Saneun Saramdeul (Aloners)
Thank you for choosing this film. We hope the ending was not surprising.
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Trois couleurs: Bleu (Three Colours: Blue)
So full of symbolism, she even forgot that she is scared of mice.
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La notte (La Notte)
Two unhappy people wander through a day and a night, go to a party. Somehow it is less engaging than it sounds.
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Sundown
A man sits on a beach, drinks beer and says nothing. Sounds deep, but it's just cancer.
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Les rendez-vous de Paris (Rendez-vous in Paris)
They thought adding a lot of summer, Paris and cute students would make the dialogue, script and acting irrelevant. They were wrong.
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Heojil kyolshim (Decision to Leave)
Starts of clean, like the detective, but gets murkier and murkier along the way.
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Matka Joanna od Aniolów (Mother Joan of the Angels)
Crackling black and white about good and evil. And lust.